July 16, 2014
“Now fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future but all there will ever be is what’s happening here and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear. So many of us chose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m saying, I’m the proof that you can ask the universe for it, please!… You can fail at what you don’t want to do, so you might as well take a chance doing what you love.” — Jim Carey
I sat at my kitchen table feeling so incredibly overwhelmed, stretched thin by all of the moving pieces in my life. Coming off a conversation with my mother about life’s recent adventures and all of the shaky parts, I could no longer concentrate on what I had been attempting to do. The clock read 9:30 but my eyes felt more like quarter to twelve. I’d woken up and gotten straight to work, coming off of a weekend full of work and found myself there looking at the clock still steadfast at work. Where had the day gone? Where had May and June gone? Where had I lost myself? Counting back in my mind the number of steps I’d taken, ounces of water I’d consumed and number of times I’d eaten with dinner still to be had. I needed a moment. I paused to read this and listen to this and to feed myself with what little food I had left in my fridge as I remembered that I still needed to make a grocery list for the week. Pause. I got to work on these pancakes because thank goodness I had just the right sparse ingredients to re-create them. Mixed the batter by hand because I needed to feel the worthiness of my hands for something true, something other than typing.
In that moment of pause I was reminded to look for the good. How in amongst the blur that was May and June there was beauty, there was celebration, a vacation, there were beginnings, there were endings, all time worth spending. The moving pieces acting as vital forces, the challenges, the opportunities, the awakenings, the shaky parts, those made up the good stuff. I may have stretched myself thin but through it I found new strength. I opened myself up to be renewed and change came barreling through.
When the heart desires berry crisp and gluten free peach cobbler, this happens. The filling is adapted from Kimberley‘s beautiful cookbook Vibrant Food (see other lovely versions of the crisp here and here) and the biscuit topping adapted from Erin‘s Homemade Flour Cookbook (another version here).
I’m not sure I can put into words that fully encapsulate the experience, how much my journey has changed over the course of the last nine months. I pushed myself to move outside my comfort zone, to connect with new people, to ramp up my practice, to honor a long time goal and to stand in my truth. Yoga teacher training had been on the back of my mind for a while and so with a leap of faith I signed up. I’d heard so many of my teachers talk about how their trainings had ‘changed their life,’ while I was a bit in disbelief I had to honor the fact everyone has their own journey. On the other side of things now I’m not sure it was the training itself that I found transformative but the life that happened alongside it. My eyes have been opened to so many experiences, my heart to new friends, my body to new strength and my mind to new insights. Coming out of the final day and little celebratory ceremony I felt so proud of the work we had all accomplished, the growth we’d seen and the loving supportive community we created.
My challenge to you is to do one thing, whether a little thing every day or tackling a big outstanding goal, that honors your truest self, leads you towards the life you desire, challenges your routine and makes you proudly stand in your truth.
This is a rough recipe for an acai smoothie bowl. All ingredients can be substituted or left out according to your preferences, this is just my ideal bowl. The powders I use can be expensive if purchased all at once but are fun to add to your pantry over time. Try topping with this coconut hemp granola!